today has proven itself to be terrible already.

i awoke (late as usual) and took my time getting ready. when i went down to my car, it was covered in snow. i drove to work, talking to myself most of the way, while listening to snoop dogg on the radio. i told myself that today was the first day of the rest of my life. starting today, i will be a healthy, productive, responsible woman..instead of this chubby, depressed, unreliable wanker.

i get to work and look in the mirror. i am wearing a black bra and a tight white shirt. classy. what was i thinking? so, i walk down congress street and stop into levinsky's to buy a t-shirt or something. score, $10. then it's subway. i stand in line sneezing, coughing, and itching my dry nose. i order my veggie delite and watch that weird boy throw veggies at the bread. then it's back to work.

i sit down and instant message a few of my friends while i enjoy my lovely lunch. when i message nick, he replies with a grumpy "what? kind of attitude. he just returned from the courthouse. he was dealing with a OAS offense. good thing he hired a lawyer...instead of the 7 days in jail/1 year suspension deal, he gets a 30 days suspension and a $922 fine. ouch. poor nick. that is a big chunk of his money that he saved to move to arizona or where ever he was planning on going. not a good day for him, either, i suppose.

then i get this call from my mother. i knew from the "hello?" that she was upset. apparently, liz deleted the letter that i sent my mother via email the other day. i had no idea. when my mom had called me the next day, we discussed some of the issues within the letter. i had assumed that she read it. and that she reacted well. well, it turns out that she had never even seen it. this upsets me for many reasons.

first off, what right does liz have to censor what i say to my mother? i mean, i know that she felt that this letter would hurt my moms feelings, but that is really none of her business. especially since the letter was NOT rude, it was just honest and blunt. (see actual letter posted a few entries back). anyway, my mom was upset. she said something about her rude comments coming off wrong because she was stoned. THAT IS THE ISSUE, MOM, YOU SMOKE TOO MUCH POT. argh. i feel so bad now, i feel like crying. but what am i supposed to do? just ignore the fact that she is high almost every single time that i see her? no, i won't do that. it is unfair. i hardly know her in any other mindstate. she says that i can talk to her about anything? untrue. when er talk, everything i say ends up getting twisted around and turned into HER thoughts. completely ignoring what i started out saying. BLAH.

anyway, she started crying and hung up on me. now i am sitting her at work, all itchy and dry-skinned, thinking about my upset mother, a pissed-off nick, sleeping paul, my fat ass, and my stuffed up nose.

fuck you.

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