it's xmas eve and i'm sitting here wrapped in my old, beat up quilt. i just read jeff's new journal and it sort of depressed me. he doesn't want to drink and party like he does, so why doesn't he just stop? i am sure it would be hard, because the majority of our friends are quite into their alcohal. i don't want jeff to turn into a lush.

after the new year, i am going to stop drinking altogether for a while. i'm sure i'd feel better if i did. also, i need to get back in shape, i am so uncomfortable at this weight. i feel like a fatty. i have never been this "thick." i am so used to being thin and lanky. bah. with the new year, i will become a healthier person.

time to shower and head to my nana's house.

i hope paul is okay.

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