maybe i'm blowing this out of proportion, but i am quite hurt right now.

last night, i called nick to see if he wanted to go out for a beer or something. he said he was feeling lazy and didn't want to go out. he told me to come over instead, but i didn't want to get his brother sick (i have a cold) and my car is driving shittily, so if we were to do something, he would need to come here, etc. well, he said he was going o stay in and that i should do the same, etc. so i did. and he claimed that he would call me later to see how i was feeling and mayeb invite me over again or something, whatever.

anyway, i ended up calling him at midnight, since he hadn't called me. he wasn't there. okay, i figured he and bill went out for a beer, who cares, right? well, it turns out that they went to see the band playing across the street from me. cool, huh? they didn't call or invite me or anything.

i'm sick of being the friend that nick never invites anywhere with hsi friends. i am sick of being a secret or something. he goes out with my friends, and doesn't tell them that i am wanting to hook up, too. that sucks so hard. they think i am busy or something, when i am fucking waiting to hear from them all. he goes with jamie, derek, jeff, hiltron, everyone, and never calls me. but what do i do when i am with them? i call him...because he is part of our circle of friends and we want him around, you know?

well, fuck this. i am not inviting that fucking guy anywhere anymore. i feel used and ignored. i do anything that fucking guy needs, i am ALWAYS here for him, and in return, he treats me like a fucking pile of shit half of the time. fuck this. i so don't deserve his selfish BS. fuckkkkkk.

bye nick.

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