the past few days have been what some might call 'rock bottom.' it's not like i haven't been here before, but it seems worse this time, mostly because i never thought i would feel these feelings again.

the night before last was a pattern of blue + white pills on the white tile countertop. last night was a nightmare that followed me until sunrise. i would explain this odd, frightening nightmare, but the details are blurry + the words don't exist.

tonight i will sleep better. tonight i will not cry or panic.

tonight i will close my eyes and actually get some rest.

right?

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