despite the fact that some things feel perfectly right, many things feel terribly wrong in this current situation.

it is frightening how frequantly i catch myself in total denial of this truth.

sometimes i wonder if it is just the thrill of figuring him out. then i want to slap myself silly for even considering such an outstanding falsity.

it is not love; it can't be. love has been defined as being so much more fulfilling. so much more mutual.

what could he possibly want from me?

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