music:four way trauma

linus looooves me. RAWR

i'm all light-headed and need a shower. the light-head is due to the fact that i keep thinking of this boy paul who i have spent a little time with lately.

i must admit, i am scared geekshitless with the idea of thinking of a boy again in any other way but friendly. trust issues effing suck big ass. it isn't personal to him, it never is. but i fear being deceived, like with the whole nick saga.

i'm so not comparing paul to nick, bah..that would be just whoa wrong. that's not it. i'm just s.c.a.r.e.d. to care about anyone. i'm pissed at myself for being so damn childish about the topic of that LOVE thang. (i'm not saying i love anyone, pfffft, but i sure am a smitten kitten)

i am greasey and need a hot shower. i am procrastinating with the shower thing because i smell like the sweet sweet pauly. hopefully i'll be able to lay beside him again soon, and again smell him all over me.

ps i need a new layout for this diary. werd.

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