i don't think he knows how much i miss him. i don't think he understands how much it hurts me to protect myself from what scares me. it's hard for me, too.

i feel a bit angry because i truly fell for him, and now feel a bit silly. i don't know what was fiction and what wasn't.

i was hoping he'd admit and apologize, in general. this would make him a bigger man in my eyes. but he didn't, and now, i don't know.

then again, maybe i am wrong. maybe i am the one who needs to apologize.

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